http://vimeo.com/16039117
http://vimeo.com/16039117
Proverbs
I’m in a new chapter of my life now, I have officially moved to Huntsville with my parents. I have diligently prayed for changes in my life over the last six months and the Lord has guided me to move. Due to finiacial adversity and lack of opportunities to meet them I have moved in with my parents to get back on my feet and reconnect with them in this junction of life. I will also get the chance to reconnect with my brother’s family.
Since I don’t have a job at the moment I have extra time to meditate on God’s word and the process He brought me through in the last couple of years. My first year in college I was in a depression that had lasted years, and when I accepted Jesus into my heart it was like a spring had burst open in my heart, and the ache of emptiness turned into a song. Over these past years my misconceptions of what it means to be Christian have peeled back to more and more of the reality of that identity. I thought all Christians were happy all the time and nothing ever gets in their way. Ha, that’s no true, we just have God on side help through those times. Christ has given me the ablity to look at everything in scope of eternity and in light of His unmovable grace. What misconceptions did you have on being Christian?
What does it mean to hide from yourself? Is there such a thing as “being” who I “aught” to be? “Being”, shows that there is a state which is to be possesed if I am to be me, and since we each have free will it involves a choice to attain that state of being. And “aught”, shows me that there is a predetermined or desired state of being for me to attain, not of my own infatuation of who I want to be. Now here Jesus is telling us that there is a choice to take up a personal cross and follow Him, not organization’s or agenda but your own cross to carry with Him. So it’s like if your looking for a job and come across an ad that says this…..
I like comic books and that’s why I used it in the title. Comics are over-the-top stories about heroes and their struggles in a quest to stand in the gap between evil and innocent people. They have glory, honor, and attention from everyone for saving the day. When we think about serving Christ most imagine being in a third world missionary setting, playing in a praise band, or being something like a mystical monk. Well if you can’t be effective here, you won’t be there. If you want all the attention on you on stage during worship, then you should ask God to examine you heart, if your motives are not pure in private, then they won’t be in public…..God will not be mocked. Secluding yourself for prayer and the occasional retreat is good to focus, but a secluded hermit is unable to minister to anyone. Are we settling for an image of faith or do we want the real thing? We are like heat seeking missiles for God to work in the world and it’s problems.
My main point here is that you may think you know who you are and what you want in life, but have no idea who God wants you to be. My challenge is to ask God to reveal His heart to you and to bless you with a purpose. Are you going to settle for a vain image or choose to pick up that cross and get to work?
Solo Deo Gloria,
Kyle
I saw a preview the other day for a documentry about existence, “Why is everything here….here?” A man turned a conversation with his friends, into a search for what people had to say for this question. MY hope is that this will be something good to open people up to the truth about God.
15He is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn over all creation. 16For by him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things were created by him and for him. 17He is before all things, and in him all things hold together. 18And he is the head of the body, the church; he is the beginning and the firstborn from among the dead, so that in everything he might have the supremacy. 19For God was pleased to have all his fullness dwell in him, 20and through him to reconcile to himself all things, whether things on earth or things in heaven, by making peace through his blood, shed on the cross.
Ephesians 1:10 with a view to an administration suitable to (A)the fullness of the times, that is, (B)the summing up of all things in Christ, things in the heavens and things on the earth. In Him….
1 Peter 2:5 you also, as living stones, are being built up as a (B)spiritual house for a holy (C)priesthood, to (D)offer up spiritual sacrifices acceptable to God through Jesus Christ.
When Christians are asked is reason we exist or why we came to existence, the answer is in our very title. CHRIST, because “ian” can’t help you. Our purpose is for Christ, without Him there is nothing to loook forward to or hold us together.
1 Corinthians 15: 12 Now if Christ is preached, that He has been raised from the dead, how do some among you say that there is no resurrection of the dead ? 13 But if there is no resurrection of the dead, not even Christ has been raised ; 14 and if Christ has not been raised, then our preaching is vain, your faith also is vain. 15 Moreover we are even found to be false witnesses of God, because we testified against God that He raised Christ, whom He did not raise, if in fact the dead are not raised. 16 For if the dead are not raised, not even Christ has been raised ; 17 and if Christ has not been raised, your faith is worthless ; you are still in your sins.
Now, it seems very clear that without Christ in his entirety, there is no point in being Christain and our faith would be found worthless. However since we know Him to be true in our lives and in the lives of others we worship Him in joy and gladness. Because of the victory of the cross, where we find our true selves, we have to forgiveness of sins and the gift of new life through the blood of Jesus.
Romans 8:11 But if the Spirit of Him who raised Jesus from the dead dwells in you, He who raised Christ Jesus from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through His Spirit who dwells in you. 12 So then, brethren, we are under obligation, not to the flesh, to live according to the flesh - 13 for if you are living according to the flesh, you must die ; but if by the Spirit you are putting to death the deeds of the body, you will live.
So let it sink in that the same Spirit that dwelt in Jesus during His time on Earth is in us. Throught that same Spirit, which is your personal portion of an infinite god, you can overcome the desires that are at war inside you “by” Him. Our purpose in living is be living a life that glorifies the One who gave us this life and life eternal.
Solo Deo Gloria,
Kyle
I’m reading through Ephesians at moment along with “The Calling’ by Brother Andrew, next on the list, “True Spirituality” by Francis Schaeffer. And these passions and thoughts keep arising…
Paul starts this book by stating all those who have believed are blessed with all the spiritual blessings that can be bestowed on someone(v1:3). That the foundation of all existence has chosen us to be his children(v1:5). Think about that for a couple minutes then comeback.
We attain this not by the life we attempt to give but the life freely given only through Jesus Christ. Before Christ we were only followed the desires of our bodies and minds according to the way of today’s culture, however, we can now be brought near to God by the Blood of Christ. God knew who out of their own freewill would chose Him, and those who would chose their own way over His. He loves us so much that there is a unique path for our lives laid out for to follow Him in. This path is not a prison but a journey to becoming the person you were always meant to be. Just as it says in 2:10, God is working in us to accomplish good in the this world. A good question to ask is, are you letting Him do His work?
Since we are no longer separated from God, why do we run from His calling for us? We are not bound by punishment are we? According to 1 John perfect love cast out fear and that word “perfect” means it’s coming from God. So, God’s love should bring light into our hearts to drive out the darkness of doubt and fear. I’ll have to hit more on that subject later.
The point is that we all have received a calling as Christians to be part of the house of God. This means everyone has a part to play and no one is excluded from from this call.
And this not a just any call!!!! IT IS CREATION’S GROANING AT IT’S AUTHOR’S FINEST WORK BEING COMPLETED. IT IS THE LOVE STORY OF A GOD POURING HIMSELF OUT TO HIS CREATION, THEN DRAWING THEM BACK UP WITH HIM FOREVER!!!!!
I want to close with this thought, you were bought by Christ and given gifts to “use” for service. We all have a job to do. And the clarity to know your job is found by walking with and obeying God. Not is a mystical sign, but put one foot forward after the other to make real character and cause real change to happen in this world.
Pray for God to lead you to your path.
Solo Deo Gloria,
Kyle
Wow…that last couple of weeks have been great…and confusing.
I wasn’t able to sleep last week due to a vision/dream that would not leave me alone. The dream was a series of me serving, witnessing, and helping others, then trying to get a couple to join in. We were on a beach during sunset, the couple arm in arm, me and some others see people drowning in the waves and go out to save them. While we’re still in the surf, we yell at the couple to hurry and come with us…people are dying….they just start to kiss each other. The rest of us dive into the waves toward those drowning. Everything fades into a blue haze then explodes with light to see the world turning in front of me, a beautiful blue and green orb that slow gives way the couple embracing each other and the world turns into a blanket around them, but still looks like it’s turning.
(Just to note I felt really crazy after having this)
We come to another scene of us trying to serve bread and fish to the poor. As we hand out food to these people with miserable faces, the couple tells us their bored and going to eat sushi….they saunter off holding hands down the road, we continue to serve.
We come to a broken down house in need of repair, everyone begins to pick up tools and boards….what does the couple do? They start salsa dancing in the yard.
This kept going on all night, no matter what we were doing those two were too absorbed in each other to care what needed to be done.
I’m still trying to understand the whole thing and what God is trying to teach me through it.
This is really random and crazy but I wanted to share it, so peace guys.
Solo Deo Gloria
A thought has occurred to me this week…
I obsess about what I want to do with my life instead of taking active steps to reaching my dreams and aspirations.
I could pondering on the meaning of greatness all I want but that is not what is going to get me to greatness. Jesus says that being great is being the servant of everyone you meet, just as He was the greatest servant of all time, I should focus on what I can offer other people for the good of their lives.
Is that our focus? Can I stand back look at my direction and passion now….honestly….and say that I’m looking for ways to love others better.
Instead of focusing on the negative let’s hone in on the solution….having a servant heart in all that we do not just when it looks good. This is not a character quality to work on but a complete transformation on how we approach life.
What can I do to change the world around me, person by person, for the good of Christ?
Please pray for God to give me a bigger heart and passion to serve.
Solo Deo Gloria,
Kyle
I”m reading Healing Choices with and it is amazing.
Yesterday I was arguing with one of my friends and realized that we constantly argue with each other. Every time we are around each other there is tension and sometimes resentment, and we are such humble Christians that we have never talked about it….Well I caught that pattern yesterday and brought it up. The other person replied that some people just don’t get along, which I think is an excuse.
John 13:35
By this all men will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.”
Phil 2
Therefore if there is any encouragement in Christ, if there is any consolation of love, if there is any (A)fellowship of the Spirit, if any (B)affection and compassion,
2(C)make my joy complete by (D)being of the same mind, maintaining the same love, united in spirit, intent on one purpose.
3Do nothing from (E)selfishness or (F)empty conceit, but with humility of mind (G)regard one another as more important than yourselves;
4(H)do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others.
I’m convicted by these verses to strive for unity and put my pride aside. And part of this recovery program is letting go our your attempt to control life around you and just Let God Be God. I have realized that if it is so hard to control myself, how do I expect to control others? We lay down our ambitions to impress others with how holy you are, and actually “be holy” by humbling ourselves.
Since yesterday, I have prayed that God would bring peace between us. I truly feel He has….I no longer feel resentment but pure love as a friend.
I would ask and pray that all reading this would seek to have peace in your relationships.
Solo Deo Gloria,
Kyle
How I found the Lord
The Lord has been pressing this issue in my prayers for a while. At first I didn’t want to because i guess it would make me appear to be weak or someone to be pitied. Well, JJ finally convinced me to put this out and be a little more broken in my walk with Jesus. So, after I write this do not pity me but understand the power and hope that is in Jesus Christ.
I started my life out in less than desirable circumstances. My parents divorced when I was one years old and along with my brother, I lived with my mother until I was fourteen years old. The past is the past, I can learn from it but not change it.
God has blessed me with a wonderful family that is always very loving. Both sides get along very well even after the divorce and i think that is a gift of God. But, I’m not saying that only being able to see your dad every other weekend and on the holidays was cool. Or having to constantly explain to other kids why I had two dads and moms was just the icing of my days. I won’t go on and on about this, but if you have lived through this yourself then you would understand how it effects you. And if you have not then there is no way you can understand what goes on inside someone who has.
One thing i will go into about the effects living in a broken family is doubt, fear, and the feeling of acceptance. When you live in this situation you wonder why did this happen to you? I had a hard time being able to relate to anyone in my school. I also have a skin disorder called eczema, so I had rashes all over my body. It goes to say that i didn’t have many friends; in fact none come to mind. I had a huge problem with being accepted by others and felt like a loser because I was not a popular kid with a normal family. And to memory, I don’t think I have ever heard the words “I hate you” come out of the mouth more authentically than those people. I made sure to hang out in any groups that were totally against that type of culture. That only led to an attitude of hatred of others and myself growing up. When i went home the air was so thick it was hard to breathe if you know what I mean. But if it were not for Mom and Darrell raising me with Christian values (even if I did not want them or understand them at the time) I would have done horrible things and ruined my life. I don’t want this to look like I don’t love my family because I do with all my heart.
I used to think that I had to be perfect for God to love me. Because all the kids in church seemed to have it together and their families never had any problems. Or at least that’s what they put on. They were the biggest hypocrites I ever knew. I did not want anything to do with a church if that’s what was accepted as a Christian. I knew God was there, but what he wanted from me was a mystery. Going to church with my parents I heard all the stories from the Bible but didn’t believe because of a hard heart and the people I saw every week but never knew their name. Christianity was not personal it was only something you had to do to be socially accepted. Besides I thought that if I didn’t live a certain way God would never love me. Sadly I let people dictate what my self-worth was and what kind of person I was.
When I was around nine years old my stepmother divorced my father. To this day I have never heard from that woman and do not understand how it is possible for someone to do that. I cannot describe how much that hurt and the insecurity it caused in my soul. It is because of this that I had so many problems with getting approval from others as my sense of worth as I grew older. And I have difficultly trusting others as a result of what she did to my family and my father.
After this event in my life, along with my lack of friends, and nothing I felt that was any worth in my life, I thought of killing myself for the first time. If so much crap could happen to me for no reason what so ever then, there was no point in me living through any more of it. This is the way I felt at the time and I can’t logically explain why I felt that way when I had a good family to go to. I really thought if I were to share how I felt that others would try and fix me to be a person that was fake. I don’t think you can explain the pain a soul feels in these situations anyway, logic doesn’t hold sway to a spiritual hurt. I see now that God held me in his hand those years to hold on and not give up. I did not have the courage to take my life only because of the fear of the unknown. I knew God was and that there had to be a purpose for all this, otherwise it would not matter how much I hurt inside. So I held on to a slim hope that things would turn out differently one day and all the while I still hated myself and everyone around me. This is was an anger that radiated from my bones to people from behind a fake smile.
My father remarried again and that lasted around four years. This woman was crazy and I do not exaggerate on that. She was an alcoholic and is the only person I had the urge to strangle for real in my life. Me and my brother moved in with my dad after they got married and that was the worst experience of my life. During this time I started to hurt myself to get out the pain that could not be put into words. I have stopped that since I’ve come to Christ. I will honestly say that I had to force myself to get out of bed by telling myself lies to accept life as it was.
When I went to college i discovered even more that people are selfish and society can offer you no answers to eternity. I found that others just fall into cultures to belong to or hide in. I had a chance to become my own man and set my own standards for living. That was exciting but I still couldn’t find real loving friends or self-worth in any system of belief. People who were all into enlightenment and such still were selfish and hypocritical in their lives. I did not think God cared about me anyway so it didn’t matter.
Then Kelsey started to go to this small church by KSU. At the time I was going to CTC and worked in Marietta so I didn’t have alot of time to see what it was all about. He spent so much time around them I thought it was a cult. Besides in my experience Christians were shallow people who judged everything you did. So until his baptism, I had not met any of these people.
After that I started hanging out with them out of pure loneliness. It was good too meet new people who would invite me into their homes no questions asked and on a regular basis.
It has been two years (three weeks ago) since I met everyone in the college group. I met my best friends in the world JJ, Danny G., Danny S., and Micky for the first time. Over the passing months i went over to that little apartment so many times i can’t remember.
During this time I had made a decision that if God didn’t show himself to me by February, I was going to kill myself by any means available. That was as serious I had ever come to doing it and it scares me how definite I was to going through with it.
As time went on I started attending service, which was addicting at the time because Mandy’s words had a power to them like nothing I had ever heard before. Every time I went to the apartment, it was like a door was being opened in my heart. For the first time in my life I had five hour conversations with people and they actually let me sleep at their house. They barely knew me and I was so annoying at the time. I just didn’t get why people would be so kind without wanting anything from me. I was talked into buying a copy of “The Purpose Driven Life.” and started to read it as soon as I got home. On the seventh Chapter it talked about accepting Christ as your savior and letting him into your heart. So I said a prayer that was not really serious but awakening. I felt like a little voice was finally talking to me but I didn’t understand what it was I was asking for. I finally got worn down from caring a burden in my heart. After one sermon where Mandy talked about God never abandoning you, how he could take away all the sin in your life, and how he will always be with you got me pretty hard. We went to Sandra’s house and did some praise and worship with the lights off. I do not remember a single word that was sung that night because I could only hear myself screaming out to God on the inside.
I told God that I finally give up. If you’re real come to me and take my heart, it is yours. I surrendered all that I was to the will of God at that moment. And I cannot describe what happened inside of me in that moment to its full beauty. I could hear a faint but massive choir singing and it felt as though a flood of light had entered my body. Then I felt my soul come to life. After singing I went to talk to a brother and confessed what had happened to me. I cried my eyes out and thanked him for loving me.
Four months later I moved in with Danny and JJ into our townhouse.
For those of you who read this remember, I ask that you don’t pity me. Look at what God has done through me and PRAISE HIM FOR HIS GLORY. I use my life as a reminder of where I come from and that the only reason I am able to write this is because the Lord wills it. I know that God saved me from myself and has a purpose for me. I thank all you who help me on my journey to the cross and thank God for your love in my life. There might be some of you that out of my immaturity I have hurt or angered since you have known me or you believe that I feel mutually the same towards you. I asked that you all would forgive me of whatever it is I have done. I want you to know that I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU ALL NO MATTER WHAT. AGAIN I SAY I WILL ALWAYS LOVE ALL OF YOU. And through the strength of God I want that love to show more everyday. And the end of this I hope you can ask for yourself how great is our God! Fro those of you who have had similar experiences in life, I will tell you this, you have to step into the unknown person of God on his terms not your own. He is real and loves you tremendously. He is waiting for you to come to him and accept his love for you. While my heart was prepared by my life’s circumstances to come to the cross, it only took a moment to make that decision. It is my hope that you can read this and understand that it only takes a moment for you to do the same.
God bless all of you who read this.
I went to a late showing of this movie last night and it was surprisingly well done. I went in expecting a cliche off Mad Max or something that tries to make Denzel to to be a super soldier. But they actually made a movie about how important the Bible is….maybe not to the extent I would have gone too, but it still made the point.
For the lives of men it is crucial to read the Bible everyday to know God more and so that it might be etched into our hearts.
24Then Jesus said to His disciples, “If anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself, and (AH)take up his cross and follow Me.
25“For (AI)whoever wishes to save his life will lose it; but whoever loses his life for My sake will find it.
One thought that occurred to me at Faithwalkers, is that we can lose track of where our identity is found in Christ.
Do you think about your faith as a sinner “driven” to repent before God as what defines you, or a child of God who was held captive before and is now free……?
Something to think about.